my commute in a national park

I moved the mountain today and yesterday and the day before that. 
I move it every day I walk back from work and
It breathes with me.
The others don’t see it, I’ve asked and they can’t see it
But I can
Watch it move forward and back, get larger and smaller
And live. it is alive within me. 
The mountain exists.

adventure is all in the mind

I enter
And take aim to conquer the massive snow bank
The plow has so nicely left to my disposal.

I must cross the winter plain and climb the steep precipice to obtain my goal!
I do.

I take note of the valley road
In front of me
I sit patient, cat-like, and relaxed as the sun’s rays warm my exterior

And then I fall.
Backwards,
Into the cold.

I lie and follow my wandering mind as it remembers
All the ways I used to play
In The Middle.

I’m Up.
Step,
        Through
                Crunch.
Through
Never touching the ground
I make my way to the top of The Hill
My old chair
        Nestled in the arms of a sugar maple
We used to fight about who could sit where.
We broke it-
In a couple different ways and it now seems as unchanged as it was when we last
Sat upon its skinny limbs-


We killed the tree
That was sideways
        It’s likeness to a bouncing chair did it in.
And the four
        Oaks that shared the same trunk
Only Three now
The termites secretly gutted the fourth
It fell, hit the street and by then it had already died.

Jump, fall, roll.

Before the town started mowing:
There was a bramble of wild flowers- pink.
Near the bush that houses the rabbits or woodchucks
(depending on the year).
They eat-
Our garden.

But they reside to the left of the hill which we sled down.
Over the snow bank
Into the street if
We didn’t stop ourselves out of fear.

There is also a path down The Hill and through the woods,
Past the rooms and a holey tree where my brothers used to pee

Down to the house I used to keep
Whose door is now shut and whose stomach is full of

Leaves,

from the tree where I used to collect
My souvenirs from a ride on the tire swing.
Now
There are only the rusted and torn wires-
Evidence of the Great Swing which once lived.

Onto the path that led me in
I take a detour.
Waist high in snow, I pull myself out and slide back into my adult world
Knowing I never really leave The Middle behind.

ever been to a killer concert?

It's much more than

Just my sensory perception.

It might begin with a tremble and continue with a sweat,

But it is always the external

Rhythm

That controls my fluctuating heartbeat

And connects me to the other.

These vibrations:

travel through the building, air, or person:

They

Are the floor, air and people.

I become him,

Her.

Or it.

This energy is:

Movement; but not mine alone,

Music,

A happy tear,

A furtive smile,

Lust,

And perhaps even love.

All this energy and feeling

Break the linear narrative of ticking clocks.

I know because,

            I am time.

I choose to share this moment

            With every moment before and after me.

And in this sharing experience

I become privy to the

Ecstasy of the world.

Because we don't always appreciate them. . .

He reads newspapers. She reads books (fiction).

She likes to cook,

He likes to build.

He majored in engineering

She was a psychology major.

She was a bit more of hippie in college-

While he more or less resembled his black rimmed glasses: square

If he could use a vacuum to eat his food, he would.

As said before, she likes to cook and she’s good at it too, so I don’t blame her for liking to eat, Sllllowwwwwly.

He likes grape jelly-white toast of course, and butter too.

She prefers raspberry or even strawberry; he doesn't like those seeds though. They get stuck in his teeth.

Poppy seeds get stuck in hers, same place- almost every time. (Right up front, where they interrupt her toothy smile with a black speck.)  She eats them anyway.

They ARGUE. Over what?  Us- them- money-the right place to eat- all those extremely important things in life.

Yet, they both fall asleep in front of the T.V. while they try to read

And neither of them ever quite follow the recipe or directions.

They both work in schools

And they always eat together-

Because, that's what they do.

And they’ll do almost anything for us, because

We are,

What they together created.

And they love us probably more than I can even imagine. . .

Because they are our mom and dad,

And we are so lucky to have them

on emotionally growing up

Growing up is the process of the individual trying to control their emotions.  Human emotions are intense, overwhelming and ALWAYS with us when we are children.
 As we emotionally grow we learn the falsity of these emotions. We learn what to expect from ourselves when we are exposed to certain stimuli. We know what we will feel and think and we can stop or limit ourselves from experiencing the intensity of anger or sadness or whatever. In fact we actively seek ways to do this in order to avoid temper tantrums, as that is not normal adult behavior. Or we can anticipate a positive emotion and exploit it for what it's worth: when we enjoy the company of another-we can exemplify those positive feelings towards another person and mistake it for love.  In the end, we control our emotions.
But in some cases a person does not emotionally grow (perhaps in more cases than not). A person might never lose the intensity of some emotions or might never exemplify others.  Are their emotions more real? Is the person who fails to grow emotionally experiencing the truth?

define: awe

To be in awe of the world is a state of mind. To find your environment, your neighbors, your community or your life as boring reflects on you, the individual's perception, not the status of the outside world. The lack of awe, is the  lack of an individuals imagination, humility and curiosity. To view the world in awe and wonder creates an environment where we can respect one another for our differences and where we can recognize each other's talents.
 When I am in awe of the world I become aware of all that I do not know, and I am grateful for it. I am curious as to the how and why of the natural and social worlds that surround me. I can speculate and imagine the answers; I can seek the answers.I can explore the world, myself and my relationships with it.  But there will always be more unknowns to keep me humble and in awe of the world.

Looking for a sandwich?

Ingredients:
Your favorite crusty bread
Goat cheese
Arugula
Cooked beets
Caramelized onions
Balsamic vinegar

Cut the bread into a sizable portion, with two halves.  Spread the goat cheese on one or both halves of  the bread. Place arugula, sliced cooked beets and carmelized onions on the cheese. Pour a bit of balsamic vinegar on top and place the two halves of bread together. Plate with some vegetable chips like sweet potato and a nice dill pickle. Eat and enjoy. nom nom nom

I sometimes forget that ducks can fly

Music on the radio

Requires patience.

It's hard to smell farts when it's really cold: this is a good thing.

I was pleasantly surprised to find I was sharing my bed with the moonlight.

His smile was contagious. 

My nose smells. . . hehe.

There is nothing like the loneliness that occurs when you're among people.

I dislike the ticking of clocks, especially watches.  

On playing with kids

I discovered:

I can melt snow with my breath.

I knew:

The tallest person makes the biggest snow angel,

(But I didn't tell them)

I learned:

Rolling down hills is extremely fun,

But,

For the sake of your stomach

Should only occasionally be done.

A distraction or relief from school

I couldn't sleep last night. My mind was taking it's precious time wandering- er sometimes skipping from place to place.  One of the thoughts to cross my mind was to start a blog. So here I am, letting you know my thoughts   because they're getting to be too much for me.

I plan to post writings of mine that are revised versions of what I have created in the past, mixed in with a bit of my current thoughts. Most of this I don't plan to be entirely coherent to the outside reader, but who knows what you'll get from it.