A reminder about the power of water

The river was:

Swollen,

Pushy,

Expecting.

It forced itself across roads, through trees

And made room for itself

            Where-

                        There-

                                    Was-

                                                None.

With its exertion it carried the

Birth of its toils,

Cars, Homes, Dreams, Death

And with a final thrust,

Released them to the ocean.

the object of your affection

It’s not power.

One might believe

Your words of love, praises of beauty and awe of my intellect

Might instill within me a certain

Power over you,

But it’s not power.

Rather your flattery instigates a search within me to

Disprove your words

Because I mistakenly think that your

Admiration implies that

I am perfect.

And I know I’m not perfect.

But I’m selfish, self-conscious, and blinded enough to think that you might believe I am

So for a moment

I think I have power,

Because you are here telling me that you love me.

I don’t think I feel the same and that scares me so

It’s not power

Because you have the ability to make me think twice;

To make me nervous and apprehensive about our interactions,

To make me question my motives,

And make me wonder if I am always using you

Which I might be. 

But it’s not power I have

Instead our relationship

Reveals my insecurities and weaknesses.

If I were honest with you and with myself

I would stop telling you how evil I am

(Thinking I’m doing you a favor by warning you)

I would stop pushing you away and then pulling you back,

I would just leave.

But I can’t, because it’s not power.